Why You Overthink Everything (and How to Stop the Loop)
If you overthink everything, you’re not alone.
Overthinking can look like replaying conversations, second-guessing decisions, running future scenarios, or feeling like you can’t “land” on the right answer. And often, the more you try to think your way out of it… the louder your mind gets.
Here’s something important to know:
Overthinking isn’t a personality flaw.
It’s often your brain trying to create safety.
Why we overthink in the first place:
Overthinking usually happens when your nervous system is activated and your brain starts scanning for certainty, control, or reassurance.
Some common reasons overthinking shows up:
1. Your brain is trying to prevent something bad from happening
Overthinking often sounds like:
“What if I make the wrong choice?”
“What if they’re upset with me?”
“What if this goes badly?”
It can feel like your brain is protecting you by preparing you.
2. You’ve learned to thinking=control
Many people overthink because at some point in life, being prepared, responsible, or “ahead of things” was the way they stayed safe.
3. You’re afraid of regret
Overthinking is often linked to a fear of:
disappointing someone
being judged
losing a relationship
failing
making a decision you can’t undo
4. Your nervous system isn’t regulated
When your body is in stress mode, your mind tries to solve emotional discomfort with logic.
But some things aren’t solvable through thinking—they’re solvable through regulation.
Signs you’re stuck in an overthinking loop:
Overthinking can show up as:
replaying what you said (and what you should have said)
analyzing someone’s tone, texting style, or facial expression
constantly researching or looking for “the right answer”
imagining worst-case scenarios
needing reassurance from friends, partners, or Google
feeling mentally exhausted but unable to stop
waking up at night with thoughts racing
Overthinking is usually less about the topic…
and more about the underlying feeling of uncertainty.
The hidden truth: overthinking is often a fear response:
Overthinking isn’t always “just thoughts.”
It’s often your nervous system saying:
“I don’t feel safe.”
“I don’t trust what will happen.”
“I’m afraid of being hurt.”
That’s why trying to “logic” your way out of it rarely works long-term.
How to stop overthinking (without forcing calm):
Here are practical ways to interrupt the loop:
1. Name it gently
Instead of arguing with your mind, try this:
“This is overthinking. My brain is trying to protect me.”
Naming it can create space without self-judgment.
2. Move from your head into your body
Overthinking is a mind strategy—but regulation is a body solution.
Try:
a 10-minute walk outside
feet on the ground + slow breathing
a warm shower
stretching your shoulders/jaw
5–4–3–2–1 grounding (senses)
Even small shifts matter.
3. Ask: “is this problem solvable right now?”
If it’s 11pm and your mind is spiralling, ask:
“Is there anything I can do right now that will actually help?”
If the answer is no, your next job is not solving—your job is soothing.
4. Contain it (don’t let it take your whole life)
You can give your mind a container:
write it down
make a “tomorrow list”
choose a time to revisit it (not all day)
Sometimes a simple boundary like:
“I’m not solving this tonight”
is nervous system medicine.
5. Choose one next step (not the perfect solution)
Overthinking wants the perfect answer.
Healing often looks like:
*one grounded next step
Example:
send one message
make one appointment
ask one question
take one break
Small steps rebuild trust.
A quick exercise: Facts vs. Fears:
Take a piece of paper and make two columns.
Facts
What is actually true right now?
Fears
What are you imagining might happen?
Overthinking often mixes the two.
Separating them helps your brain return to reality and reduces the emotional intensity.
When overthinking is a sign you need support:
Overthinking becomes a bigger issue when it’s impacting:
sleep
relationships
focus at work
confidence
decision-making
daily peace
You don’t have to wait until you’re “falling apart” to get help.
How therapy can help:
Therapy can help you:
understand what your overthinking is protecting you from
work with anxiety patterns at the root level
build emotional regulation skills
strengthen boundaries and decision confidence
develop a calmer relationship with your mind
If overthinking is draining your energy and making life feel heavy, support can be life-changing.
At Carbon Psychology, we help people in Calgary slow the spiral, reconnect to clarity, and feel more grounded again. Book a free consult or get matched with a therapist.
Quick FAQs
Why does overthinking get worse at night?
When things get quiet, your brain has more space to process stress—and anxiety loves stillness. Regulation helps.
Can overthinking be a trauma response?
Yes. For many people, overthinking is a form of hyper-vigilance—trying to prevent pain or unpredictability.
Is overthinking the same as anxiety?
Not always, but they often overlap. Overthinking is a very common anxiety symptom.